And the Award Goes to…

I’ve already decided how it’s all going to end. Sometime in the next nineteen to twenty-four years, I’m going to retire. That’s when it’s all going to happen. It will be my very last day and the ceremony will start right at 7:00 AM. I’m already making my list of people to invite. My parents will still be alive and healthy, so they will be there. All my favorite co-workers from the past will show up. A few that I don’t really want to see, but the day is all about me, so I will let it go. I’ve decided that my speech will probably last around ten to fifteen minutes. I will make a few jokes, everyone will laugh. I will talk about the impact that the company has had on me as a person and how grateful I am for everything they have done for me. I will have a long list of people to thank, and I will recognize a few people who are no longer with us. I’m pretty sure that all my career highlights will be playing in the background while I speak. I’m sure my words will be so motivating that they will inspire the younger generation in the audience. I’m also pretty sure that someone from the mayor’s office will be there. I’m not saying I’ll get a key to the city, but I’m sure he will give me something to show his appreciation. The award I will be getting on that day is the coveted “Lifetime Achievement Award”. It’s an award they don’t hand out very often and not everyone is even eligible. In order to be eligible, you must have the type of career that meets all the criteria. Even though it’s only three things, not many people do it. What’s the criteria, I’m glad you asked. In order to be eligible, you must have accomplished these three things:

1. Work for the same company for at least thirty-five years.

2. Talk to enough people so that when you leave, people will both be happy for you, and they will notice that something is different when they no longer see you in the hallways.

3. This is by far the hardest part, Make sure that you never do anything in all the years you are there that makes an impact so large that they will have already rewarded you in some way during your tenure.

So, there you have it, just like with all the award shows for the movie industry. Stick around for a long time, do a whole bunch of work, but never make a film so amazing that you win an award during your career.

         That is how I feel my career is going to this point. I am right on track for the prestigious lifetime achievement award. Is that a horrible thing? Probably not. Not everyone can stick around through all the good times and the bad times. I think it takes a certain type of person to grind it out every day. If that’s how it all plays out, I can be proud of what I did. But the reason I bring up this crazy scenario is because of criteria number three. So often in sports or in the entertainment world, when someone is about ready to end their career, if they have never won anything, they hand them a lifetime achievement award. To me, it’s an award that says, “we appreciate you, even though you never did anything great”. It means you were stuck between average and good for a very long time. Just the thought of that annoys me. I don’t want to spend the last five years of my career only answering questions about the olden days when technology wasn’t doing everything for you. I want people to come up to me and ask me what it was like to be a part of the greatest team ever assembled. I want them to ask me for the details on how we took a group of people from all around the world and from all walks of life and turned them into the greatest team that ever existed. I want them to talk about how we lived in a world where nobody knew how to communicate or work together but we found a way to do it and do it well. I want them to ask about how we did so many amazing things even though we didn’t have the people or equipment. I want them to ask how we got everyone to work together and get along when we were living in a time of war and political unrest all around us. I know all of this may sound crazy or maybe I have unattainable expectations about what happens in a work environment. But I want to do things that people say no one can do. Deep down I’m still a rebellious teenager who doesn’t like to be told what to do. Right now, everyone is saying that young kids don’t care. Right now, everyone is saying that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Right now, everyone is finding something to blame instead of finding a way to make it work. It’s easy to make an excuse, I want to be in the group that decides that we don’t care what everyone else is doing, we are going to do it our way!