Waiting Too Long

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had the same conversation with a few different people. The main question during the conversation is, “How do I know if I have waited too long to address an issue”? My first takeaway from the conversations is probably what everyone else is thinking, if you are asking the question, you waited too long. I think overall it’s easy to walk into work one day and realize that you definitely waited too long to address something. But the real question becomes, when was the right time? Some people you have worked with for years, so you know when they are going through things outside of work. If you know someone is going through something, when does the point come where you go from giving someone leeway, to we need to talk? When do you get to the point with someone where the conversation goes from “I’m sorry something unfair happened to you”, to “grow up and move on”? The best leaders I know have a great combination of caring for the business and caring for the person. But when is the point where caring for a person is now hurting the business? One of the most frustrating things in the business world for me right now is that I see people being given up on, on a regular basis. Most people I know don’t want the reputation of being the type of person who gives up on people. But they also don’t want to the reputation of being soft or being a pushover. So where is the balance? I’m finding that the answer wasn’t at all where I thought it would be. I thought the answer would be focused on balance. I thought the answer would be a perfect mix of production and care. Part of the issue with that being the answer is that not everyone cares about the same things or the same way. The other question that came up when I was talking to myself about the situation was, “Is the answer the same at work as it is in our personal life”? When I wait too long to address something in my personal life, is that the same as waiting too long to address something at work? Here is what I think I have found out. The answer must be based at least partly on what reputation do you want to have. The other part has a lot to do with how much criticism you can take. When it comes to when to address an issue with a person, you must know going into the situation that no matter what, you are going to be criticized. Sometimes it will be from the person who should have addressed sooner, other times it’s going to come from someone else. You also must know that the people who are telling you to hurry up and address something are going to be the same people who want leeway when they need to be addressed about something. So, what do you do? The first thing we need to do is to take a step back and see what issues need to be addressed. What things have I been sitting on? You aren’t too late on everything, so what are you sitting on right now that needs to be addressed? Make a list, then figure out a game plan. Find your five and ask for feedback. Remember that the longer you have waited to address something, the more sensitive you need to be. The things that you have waited too long to address, you need to be honest with everyone about. When you finally sit down with the person, the conversation needs to start with an apology. You also need to make sure that the apology isn’t followed by the word, “but,”. Don’t make an excuse for why you took so long, own it! The last thing you need to do is make sure that you follow up at some point. You want them to know that just because you dropped the ball once, you won’t drop it again. They need to know that everyone involved is going to be held accountable from this point on. How you handle everything will be the reputation that you leave with everyone. If you want to be known as the person who addresses issues and cares for people, take care of business. If you want the reputation of being soft, don’t address any issues. Wait for it to blow up and see how good you are at clean-up. Now for the final, tougher question. Do I handle things in my personal life the same as I would at work? I think so! What do you have going on in your personal life that needs to be addressed? Make a list and write down what you want the final result to be. My wife and I have been so busy lately that I have a list of three to four things I need her feedback on. By the time she starts her week I want to make sure that I have that feedback. I also have a few issues that I need to talk to her about. Again, I don’t want to wait too long, so I need to ask some questions and be ready for some constructive criticism. If we want to go to the next level, we can’t hesitate any longer!