What Are My Expectations?

 I was driving to work recently, and I was thinking about a situation I had going on. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I wasn’t even sure what I wanted out of it. I had spent lots of time thinking about the process, but no time at all on the ending result. I think the whole time I was thinking that once I started, I would start thinking about the end results, but here I was right in the middle of it all with absolutely no expectations. As I was gathering my thoughts, more situations started coming to mind where I had no idea what my expectations were. I was on my way to work, did I know what I needed to do to make it a successful day? I did something over the weekend that I normally don’t do. My birthday is coming up and I ordered myself a few presents. I ordered myself an Oura ring, and a dartboard. I was thinking about all these different things, and it occurred to me, I had no expectations for these presents I bought myself. With the ring, what do I want to track? How do I plan on using and tracking the information that it gives me? With the dartboard, how often do I want to play? It may sound silly, but sometimes when I start playing, I lose track of time and hours go by. Could this actually be a present that takes away from an area I should be focusing on?

Do I need expectations?

Am I overthinking all of this? Do I need expectations for every single situation that comes up? I think it’s important to have expectations when it comes to my workday, but do I need them for a dartboard? The more I thought about it, the clearer it seems to me, yes, I need expectations for most situations! I wanted the Oura ring, because I need to improve my health. I wanted to create a baseline, so I know where I am starting and where I can improve. When it comes to the dartboard, I had three reasons that I wanted it, not including the fun part. I wanted it because when I’m playing it helps clear my head. I can just play and think about everything I have going on, and for some reason it helps me figure out what I want to do. The second reason helps explain the first reason. I want to do something where I need to use strategy. What should I aim for, what should my next few moves be? It’s nothing serious, but it forces me to think. When you are forced to think a few moves ahead in one situation, it helps you think a few steps ahead in other situations. The last reason is a normal one, it’s something different for people to do when they come over. It becomes quality time with friends and family.

So now what?

Lately it seems like I’m never sure how I feel about things. I go to work, and when I get home, I feel like I didn’t accomplish what I wanted. When you don’t have a clear picture of what success means to you, you are going to go home a lot, feeling like you weren’t successful. If I have a clear game plan on what I need or want from my day, I can figure what I need to do. It forces me to have a plan and clear instructions. When I want to talk to someone, what do I want to tell them? I don’t want to walk away from a conversation with a friend and feel like I wasted their time. I also don’t want to forget to tell them something important. My goal for now is to be more present. I want to be more intentional with what I do. If I am going to spend money, spend it on things I won’t regret. If I am going to go to work, make it a great day where you go home knowing you made an impact. If I am going to spend time with someone I care about, make sure we both leave the conversation happy. Knowing my expectations hopefully will lead to me feeling like I accomplished more and help me have more quality time with the people I love!