What if I don’t have it?

When you make the decision to write about something, you try and stick to things that either you know about, or things that you find interesting. If you make the decision to try and improve something, you make that decision with the belief that making the change is possible. I can decide to write more often, but I’m not going to make the decision to become an astronaut. Why, well for me that just isn’t an option in my mind. I don’t like science, I don’t care for heights, and I’m not a very good driver.  Last week we talked about using your voice. For some people using their voice is harder than becoming an astronaut. I may have mentioned this before, but more people have a fear of public speaking than dying. I love thinking about that when it comes to dealing with people. This isn’t just a crazy one-off situation; a large amount of people would choose death over speaking in front of people. It doesn’t even mention how many people they would have to talk in front of. So, if last week I said that we need to raise the volume, if I can’t raise the volume does that mean that I am doomed to fail and I’m a horrible leader? If I’m not a failure, does it mean I have a lid on how great I can be? In order to answer this question, we must talk about one thing. EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS! Some people can hide their weaknesses better than others, but we all have a few. We need to talk about weaknesses before we talk about anything else because if you can acknowledge your weakness, you can figure out almost everything else. So, let’s say that my weakness is talking in front of others, can I be a great leader? I don’t want to be a good leader; I want to be a great leader! The good news is that you probably aren’t going to find yourself in the middle of an NFL huddle during the Super Bowl. The bad news is that you still must figure out a game plan. The first thing I need to do is to be ok with my weakness. I need to go to the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror and tell myself “I’m not a very good public speaker”.  The second I can admit that and be ok with it is the second I can start thinking of another way. The quickest and easiest way to tell a group of people anything is to get them all together in a room and tell them all at once. You can answer everyone’s questions and get everything out of the way in probably twenty minutes or less. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only way. Again, let’s go back to last week. If the first choice isn’t an option, adjust. If that group of people is fifteen people, then I need to make a game plan to make sure that I have time to go talk to fifteen people individually. Maybe fifteen at a time is too many, but what about two or three? It’s going to take longer no matter what, but it can still be effective. What you may find out is that talking to people in smaller groups or individually is more effective. Both people can earn the reputation of a good communicator, but they went about it in two very different ways. So, if raising the volume can’t work for you, raise your communication skills. With a lot of things, you may not even have to talk to people, maybe you can email or text. What if your weakness is writing? You can journal every day in a word document. If you do that, even if you don’t save it, word will point out all your mistakes. You can also read it out loud after you write it and see if it sounds right. What if talking to people individually isn’t a strength? Take a friend along the first few times. Maybe they speak the first time, and you take notes. After that you speak, and they give you notes. Just remember, you must be able to accept your weakness. They are going to give you constructive criticism, you have two choices, listen, and get better or be defensive and never get better. We are all going to have days where we either don’t have it or we can’t find it. That doesn’t make you a bad leader.  Make adjustments and find another way, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.