My Identity in the Rough Terrain

A few weeks ago, I spoke about identity and who I am. Shortly after writing that I heard someone say on a podcast that you can’t outperform your identity. When I heard that I kind of froze. I kept saying it over and over again, trying to process it. It was simple but challenging. If I think I am a “B” student and nothing better, than getting an “A” is impossible. That makes complete sense to me, I always thought I was an average student. So, I was content with getting just a “C” in almost every class. But school was many, many years ago, so what does that mean for today?

My Job Identity

I can be very successful at my job, but still have my identity slow me down or even stop me. The easiest example would be the people who think they are good employees, but they will never be a top performer. If you don’t think you can be a top performer, you will never take the time to see what they are doing differently than the rest of the people. I know people who show up to work at least fifteen minutes early, it’s quieter and they can look ahead at their day without interruptions. They spend the whole day five steps ahead of other people. The average performers make one of two decisions, either they are too afraid to ask the top performers what they do differently, or they ask and when they find out, they decide that fifteen minutes early is too much of a sacrifice to make. They believe that they have no chance of being a top performer, so getting more sleep is a higher priority. The top performer sees the difference in a small amount of time like fifteen minutes. The average performer, who doesn’t believe in himself creates an identity that is intimidated at the thought of asking a question or showing up sooner.

My Home Identity

Everyone wants to be a good spouse and a good parent, but if that is the case why do we have so many average or bad ones. We have a divorce rate of fifty percent and many parents who hardly ever see their children. How many times have you heard people talk about their parents in these situations? It’s hard to be a good spouse / parent, I never had a good example growing up. That means that before we even get married or have a child, we are already putting a limit on what we can do. What is the difference between a good spouse and an average or poor spouse? It’s probably no different than being at work. Look for feedback and accept constructive criticism. If you have a good boss at work, they are going to tell you what they need or expect. If for some reason you have a miscommunication on something or don’t hit those expectations you would rather, they tell you promptly so you can fix it, instead of getting a poor review at the end of the year. Too often when the person we love the most does this we either get mad or refuse to talk to them. Maybe we even do both! If we did that at work, we would be labeled a bad employee, and it could end up leading to termination. When we get mad at home when we get constructive criticism it could end up leading to divorce. Be different, go ask for feedback. Be a great spouse, be a great parent!

My Side Hustle Identity

I’m not that smart, I don’t really know anything special, no one else will like it or care about it. Everyone is smart at something. Everyone was born with a special gift that only they have. Maybe it’s just a special insight into something or the gift of teaching. Everyone brings something to the table. The problem is that over time, we forget about it. We have it hidden so far down; we haven’t seen it in years. Every time it tries to come up, we push it back down with our negative talk. The path to greatness is filled with rough terrain and lots of exits. It’s easy to look at the negative. Part of being human is failing. Mistakes are going to happen. When they do, you will have people who are ready to pounce. They will discourage you and push you down even further. What do you do when that happens? You have to realize that they left their path a long time ago and they have no intention of getting back on. You have to realize that those are the people you never wanted on your team to begin with. My identity doesn’t have a ceiling. I’ve surrounded myself with my five and many others. My support system is bigger than my failures and fears. I’m going to make the commitment today that my identity will not hold me back. It’s now time to do the impossible!