What’s Holding You Back

I’m going to assume that everyone knows something that they want. For most people it seems that they want to improve something. They want to get healthier or make more money. In a lot of cases, we even have some sort of a game plan to get what we want. So why don’t we have it? Last year we wanted to be healthier and make more money. Now here it is 365 days later, and for most people the needle didn’t even move at all. If you know what you want and you also have a game plan to get it, what’s holding you back?

The Conversation

I was talking to a friend of mine a few days ago, they asked that simple question, what’s holding you back?  I tried to get out of it, I made a whole lot of excuses in a really short period of time. In some ways it was actually impressive what I was coming up with. But, no matter what I said, when I was done talking, she would once again say, “What’s holding you back”? I had no way out; I had to answer the question. After years of avoiding the truth, it had to come out.

The Honest Answer

No matter what anyone says, fear is real. I love helping others get what they want. It truly makes me happy when I help someone see something they were missing before. But for me, my main issue is that I’m scared. I’m not one of those burn the ships so we can’t go back kind of people. Every week I hear a story about someone who finally decided to quit their job and start over. That’s not me, I’m a routine person. I love being married partly because I love stability. I love the fact that my wife knows that every two weeks money is going to show up in our account. I was listening to a podcast last week and I heard the host say something that had me frozen. He said that his whole life he never gave a hundred percent. He said that he did that so that he would always be able to give himself an excuse if he failed. He would tell himself if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t because he was a failure or not good, it was because he didn’t give it his all. That was the most guy thing I had ever heard, and it hurt because I knew it was true for me too. I’ve always given myself an out. I can convince myself that it’s not that I’m scared, it’s that I’m a good husband. I’m not scared, I’m just good at what I’m already doing. The truth is, what if I try something new and I fail. What if I waste a bunch of money? What if I get my friends involved and they lose money? What if I fail and I have to find a new job and start over because I can’t go back to where I was before. I’m scared to disappoint myself and I’m scared to disappoint the people I love and care about.

Now What?

Talking to my friend, I also discovered something else. I have such a grand plan in my head, that I can’t even take step one. Again, I sat at the table not wanting to answer, but every single time I would hear her say, “So, what is the first step”? I talked about my ideas for these elaborate spreadsheets, but she wouldn’t accept that. We talked about my health and what I wanted to do. I knew I had to start tracking my food and keeping track of how I feel every day. When I was done talking to her, I left and bought a new notebook to track what I eat and how I feel. It’s not the spreadsheet I want, but it’s a first step. I now have a streak going of two days of tracking my food. Not focusing on calories, or anything else. Just a nice and simple step one.

What’s Next?

For now, keep my streak going. I think even doing that for one week will open my eyes to some of what I am doing wrong. I’m ready for that to be part of my routine. After that, move on to the next thing and start doing step one. I hope one day I have the most complex spreadsheet that ever existed. It will keep track of everything I do and all my successes. Until then, I will keep forcing myself to take step one. It’s scary, but I have awesome support around me to keep going!